It seems that things ain’t getting any better. And as each day goes by, I’m becoming more and more confuse with my own feelings. Just have no idea how do I let it out. I feel so out of place. And every step I make, it’s like the wrong move. I’m so afraid to make another step; afraid that I would regret the rest of my life with the decisions I’m going to make. I know, that I’m the cause of all this. Well, boy I’m sorry. That’s the only word that seems to be coming out from my mouth. The good memories are the only things that seem to be playing in my mind. Can’t erase all of them. And I just hate this feeling that I’m unloved. I feel so lonely at times like this. Just have no idea, to who should I turn to. Even if I were to turn to you, you wouldn’t understand. Let’s just stay this way. I’m ok with things now. I know that you’re mad. And I get the fact that I’m not needed. Too hurt, to have back everything. And its more hurtful to just let everything go. Well whatever it is, thanks. For the nice stuff you bought for me. And the care that no one could ever give me. Thanks for the unconditional love and everything else, and thanks for making things right when I’m always the one that make it worse.

I’m just mad at myself for not able to change myself. I tried, but I can’t. Just don’t blame yourself. How I wish. I could just leave this place and never come back. Just let things be the way they are. Just let all my doubts, unanswered. I’ve caused too much trouble, and I don’t wish to make things any worse. If only life could be like those in fairytales, wouldn’t it be good?

Labels: loneliness is the most terrible poverty.